Monday Update
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 9:42PM Mrs. G. 
Mrs. G. is wrestling with some stuff she will share as soon as she can get it to sound good on paper. The last few days she feels like she wouldn't know a creative thought if it dropped down from the sky and landed directly on her shelf-like bosom, just waiting, begging to be plucked from her substantial CLEAVAGE. Speaking of shelf-like bosoms and substantial CLEAVAGE, is Mrs. G. the only one who has had a tortilla chip fall out of her bra when she took it off, or a rogue cocktail peanut? This isn't a rhetorical question. She's not is she? The only one?
Mrs. G's spent many hours this week trying to write the story of her beloved dog, Schnapps, who died thirty-five years ago, but she can't get it right. Just trust her, Schnapps was a good dog. We're going to have to leave it at that for now.
Mrs. G. begins working out with Derf Caro via Skype at 5:30am this morning. Once they have established a routine, Mrs. G. will plug everyone into the process in case they want to follow or play along.
Happy Monday, pals. Not to be corny but today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Corny. But still. Look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. Smile at a stranger. Oh, and your hair looks great!
Photo: Bennett Sisters [between ca. 1910 and ca. 1915], phoographer unknown, no copright.
Reader Comments (55)
I have had popcorn come flying out after some movie madness!
My substantial cleavage has given way to substantial saggage. I guess there could be food under there somewhere.....
I try not to wear a bra because they hurt. I have had chips fall through my t shirt.
Sadly, although I could use a snack, I only discovered the earring I lost this morning in my cleavage tonight. 5:30 am? Wow. You have a will of iron. Can't wait for details on your new regime as I just discovered I suffer from " avoirdupois". Night night Mrs. G!
Oh Mrs. G, the things that land in my bra cause me no end of embarrassment. I am seriously considering getting a breast lift and reduction this year. There was a time I loved being big breasted, but gravity and time have been hard on the girls.
**heavy sigh** No stray chips here. Sadly, there's just nowhere for them to hide.
PS-and thanks for the compliment on my hair. I'm having a minor hair crisis and I needed the boost. And the "rogue" peanut comment made me laugh outloud.
I could feed a legion from my cleavage. Tons of protein and unhealthy snacks lurk in the rack of doom.
I am rooting for you and your work with Caro... but DAMN, 5:30 is early. Go forth and be fit!
I'm looking forward to the story of Schnapps. I know what it's like to love and be loved by a good dog...
It always happens. Every single time. The annual/biennial action of getting my haircut is directly preceded by my hair actually looking pretty good. *sigh* Thanks for the compliment Mrs G, just last week I made an appointment for tomorrow.
Crisps, breakfast cereal, hairpins and even once pearls!!!!!!!! It really isn't just you.
Golly, the things a guy can learn here :)
one summer afternoon (remember it gets OMG humid here!) i went to the movie and treated myself to some M&Ms....when i got home that night, i had two very interesting dots on my decolletage....red and orange to be exact...and matching dots on my white bra. needless to say those two candies were kind of smooshy...i was lucky to get them out alive.
and really? 5:30?? let us know how it goes...
by the way....you? look mah-ve-lous. yes. you do.
When my girls were wee, it was not unusual for me to find small toys in my bra at the end of a long-ass day.
Deb -- I too have had M & Ms. And popcorn, after a movie.
Mrs. G, you just made my Monday a wee bit better.
I've had popcorn fall into my bra. Only small things get captured there. Including my breasts. Just saying. As for the creativity thing? I'm right there with you. Struggling to think and then to write.
That must be Lydia and Kitty in that picture. No way Elizabeth and Jane would create such a spectacle of themselves.
a bug- a bug that flew into me and then went right down my shirt and between the girls! Yikes! You should have seen or heard the offers of help from my husband and his friend as I jumped, turned away and quickly went after that bug!
there have been food related items but the bug.....
That just isn't a problem I've ever had. I console myself by knowing that I could squeeze through a narrow fence opening during an escape. (Suburban moms are on the run all the time, you know.)
Hands seem to be the only thing to get caught in my bra. First my hubby's then my baby's now my grandbaby's. And yes it is a perfect day Mrs. G, every day is a gift. Your hair looks great too.
That has happened to me, and my bosom is so decidedly unshelflike.
Yup. I had a chip fall out of my bra last night. Luckily it didn't have any dip on it.
Your hair looks fabulous today too!
Not only can I feed a small family from the foodstuffs dropped in my cleavage, I never fail to spill food on my bosom....as hubby says "They have to eat, too". I have come to wearing a dishtowel around my neck whenver my MIL makes spaghetti
Happy Monday to you, Mrs. G, and the rest of the Derfs. And today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Funny, but I said that to myself this morning, after being in a slump for the past few months! We've had an unbelievable winter up here in Western NY so far and the past few days have had the look of spring. Gives me the feeling to get off my ass and get going on making things better!
I have rescued popcorn from my ample bosom and eaten it! And I am (since my birthday) committed to only soft comfortable bras...
Crumbs and, most annoying of all, a rogue strand of hair.
@Trudy, my kids applaud at the end of a meal if I have not spilled anything down my front. I should stop feeding them, that'll teach the cheeky buggers.
Sometimes my boobs are itchy and I know it's time for a shakeout. That's where I lean over and get all the crumbs out. Plus, after nursing two kids (one of whom is still going at 2) an inordinately/insanely-some-say long time, they seem to think the cleavage is a storage spot and all around comfort zone. Comfort zone? Yes. Storage spot for small plastic animals and cars? Not really.
Oh, and I have a sports bra that's stained inside from dropping bits of chocolate I was eating and then my body heat melted it into pools. Actually, it might be two bras, as long as we're being honest. You are not alone.
So the food falls down my cleavage and it often happens while I'm sitting at my desk at work. Without thinking, I usually attempt to retrieve it immediately, not considering the classroom across the hall that has a door window placed JUST SO. A door window that allows the grad students sitting in certain chairs the ability to see my digging in my shirt.
5:30am workout session with an online trainer. GO YOU. I'm sure Caro will do you up right.
You are definitely not alone. I could eat a whole other meal from what I've found in my brassiere.
My dog literally sits at my feet and waits for treats as I get undressed!
That photo looks just like my teenage daughter and me!
I, too, am blessed with ample enough cleavage to serve as a crumb/chip/M&M catcher. I never could see any point to sticking a napkin on my lap. Nothing ever makes it all the way down there.
I found a quarter once. I was in the shower before I found it though,it was stuck to my boob.
I was so interested in what you all found in your bras that I forgot I had a giant pot of black beans on the stove and it exploded all over the kitchen. I smelled the smoke and triped over the cord of my netbook and sent it flying across the room along with 20 oz of hot coffee and milk. Poo.
I come from a long line of busty ladies, and luckily I am just a tad over average (most grateful), so no, nothing lands in there but spilled wine or beer.
However, my aunt used to be able to store so many needed items in there that I wonder why she bothered with a purse. One year at powwow she leaned over too far and all her valuables dropped out. I had to go under the stands to retrieve her inhaler, lighter, cigs, money clip, bottle of meds, and pager. Possibly her keys. We used to refer to it as her Indian Pocket. (reservation joke for your monday!) My mother did the same, not as exstensively. It was a real shocker when she kept her pager in there when on call, set to vibrate!
keep on keepin on Mrs. G! It is DEFINITELY Monday. Nevertheless, I am excited about being able to report on my goalettes from January. Cyber accountability really works. Progress! Progress!
Oh yeah... I've had stuff fall out of my bra and also found bits of chips stuck to my boob. Mrs. G., even when you're struggling with creativity your posts are funny.
Reading blogs and eating popcorn now--later I will sweep all the bits off my bathroom floor after they fall out of my bra.
The worst for me are the little bits of leaves and the twigs after I've been trimming the bushes. Now that stuff gets itchy.
Thanks for the laughs ladies. I've enjoyed every comment.
I just ate a peanut butter cookie. I'm sure I'll find a few straggling crumbs when I put pjs on later.
Good for you for the early a.m. workout. I walk my dog at 5:00 for a half hour or so and am happy to be up and out so early.
Thanks for the hair compliment. The grey is bumming me out.
xoxoxo
Why thank you! (Was this compliment before or after I washed it at 3pm?)
Love that picture!
It doesn't take a lot of cleavage to be a crumb catcher because I seem to do it well: nuts, raisins, chocolate, popcorn and more.
Mrs. G., you are inspiring! I feel lucky to get out for a walk at 7:30am.
For me it's usually dry cereal (it's what I tend to eat as a snack in the evening) or popcorn. For me it's not so much the ampleness of the bosom that's key, but the slouching bowl-close-to-face leaning back sofa position I adopt in front of the TV. If I drop something from there, it's going to end up inside my bra.
Cleavage? Bra? I'm with Gary on this one...
Am gratefully and graciously accepting your compliment Mrs G now that I am post-haircut.
Like Molly's aunt, my mum used to use her bra as a pocket. Tissues, keys, bills would all be put in there, but the weirdest thing was the squirrels.
We were fostering three tiny baby squirrels who'd lost their mother. They had to be fed with an eyedropper, and needed to be kept warm. So Mum wrapped them in a handkerchief and tucked them into her bra where they would be warm and lulled by her heartbeat. It worked, and they went to sleep. Unfortunately, they slept so deeply and quietly that she forgot they were there, and went grocery shopping. They woke up when she was in line at the checkout and decided to explore. Can you imagine seeing these little tiny bulges appearing, and moving around in the front of some lady's shirt? I wish I had been with her to see the reactions. Sometimes I think that my mother is really Lucille Ball.
Squirrels! You just made my day.
Oh, the squirrels - that is just awesome.
I am afraid I've never had the things fall out of the bra... the only time they've ever been big enough was when I was breastfeeding and they were mostly just out there anyways!
Your hair looks pretty too, and I must say I am impressed with your work out dedication.
My mom and I are both big chested. We sometimes think we should just put our food directly on our hoots and eat if off of there since half of it ends up there anyway. Remember that old Ritz cracker jingle "When you want a cracker, you want a Ritz!"? My dad used to sing it, "When you eat a cracker, it falls on your tits!"
He was singing to my mom, not to me. For cryin' out loud.
I find everything under the sun in my bra.
Once I caused a man to walk right off a dock because he was so not watching where he was going. lol
Yes, i've had popcorn spill out after a movie or three. That and the occasional toast crumbs. Crumbs!